piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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