I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
