Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
