I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
