It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
