2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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