like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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