somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
