i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
