We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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