Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
