I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
