yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This toilet bowl is my home.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
