Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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