Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
