Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
