the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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