Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
