My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
