96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
