i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
