There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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