I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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