shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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