Your tits are I can't wait for
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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