Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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