You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
