Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
