Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
