piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
