She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
