can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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