one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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