the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
