I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
