...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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