i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
