dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
