hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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