WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My vagina just clenched in fear
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
