my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
