i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
