I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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