All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
