I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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