I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
