But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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