Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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