just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
