What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
