? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
